There's no easy way to start this post. Cory and I have lost 3 pregnancies to miscarriage. And although some people may have a hard time believing this - it doesn't take 9 months to fall in love with that new life growing inside of you. It all starts with dreaming of that child and then the moment you see that 2nd line or "pregnant" on your test you realize that your dream has finally come true - you're going to have a baby! Then you automatically start planning that baby's life - thinking of names, will it be a boy or a girl, how will we decorate their nursery.
And then before you know what has happened the nightmare starts - you find out that you're going to miscarry and that you're not going to get to be a mommy or a daddy anymore. So all those dreams and plans that you started to make are torn away from you and leave you with a gaping hole in your heart that nothing can fill. Time doesn't make this grief or pain go away, it's always there and becomes a part of who you are. Pregnancy loss isn't something that you will ever "get over", you've lost a child, a dream, a part of who you are.
Pregnancy loss is one of those topics that some think to be taboo - it's just better to not talk about it or bring it up. On the contrary, I can say that Cory and I have been able to find some comfort in those who ARE willing to talk about it with us and acknowledge what we're going through. While Cory and I have made decisions to share our losses with friends & family, so many couples do not, they keep it to themselves and grieve in private. So, on October 15th we ask that you take a moment to think of all of those in your life who have lost a child or pregnancy to miscarriage - stillbirth. At 7pm on October 15th, Cory and I will be lighting candles for the 3 pregnancies we've lost and we hope that you will join us in remembering and hoping for the future.
Here are some links to better articulated articles about pregnancy loss than mine:
Grief & Loss
October 15th
Pregnancy Loss
And then before you know what has happened the nightmare starts - you find out that you're going to miscarry and that you're not going to get to be a mommy or a daddy anymore. So all those dreams and plans that you started to make are torn away from you and leave you with a gaping hole in your heart that nothing can fill. Time doesn't make this grief or pain go away, it's always there and becomes a part of who you are. Pregnancy loss isn't something that you will ever "get over", you've lost a child, a dream, a part of who you are.
Pregnancy loss is one of those topics that some think to be taboo - it's just better to not talk about it or bring it up. On the contrary, I can say that Cory and I have been able to find some comfort in those who ARE willing to talk about it with us and acknowledge what we're going through. While Cory and I have made decisions to share our losses with friends & family, so many couples do not, they keep it to themselves and grieve in private. So, on October 15th we ask that you take a moment to think of all of those in your life who have lost a child or pregnancy to miscarriage - stillbirth. At 7pm on October 15th, Cory and I will be lighting candles for the 3 pregnancies we've lost and we hope that you will join us in remembering and hoping for the future.
Here are some links to better articulated articles about pregnancy loss than mine:
Grief & Loss
October 15th
Pregnancy Loss
4 comments:
I will definitely say a prayer and be thinking of your lost little ones on Wednesday.
Much love,
Dawn
p.s. 11 days and counting!
So sorry to hear about your loss. We'll be thinking of you all. I can't begin to imagine how difficult it is. We couldn't get pregnant for three+ years which was also hard.
This was so eloquently said... I understand and relate on so many levels. I think about you all the time - all of us on SAL are rooting for you. Much love, "sueball'
you could not have said it any better, it is a very difficult thing to go thru. My husband and I lost our first the Wesdnesday before Mother's day 1997 (ouch) We stopped counting after 10 losses. Hang in there. If you need someone to "talk" to my email is
roberts_5@Live.com
I know the pain, and I know the joy of finally having a couple. You are in our prayers.
Post a Comment